.
Reflection
If we take some time to reflect,
on our own thinking,
our behaviour,
our attitude,
our character,
our mindset,
you will realise,
is time for a change.
No idea
Something seriously wrong with me lately.
i hate the feeling.
Like wat i have mention in the previous entry,
my mood is very bad recently.
Due to sch stress?
Due to uncountable project?
i have simply no idea.
i thot is all becoz of my monthly thing,
but it doesnt seems to be e case.
No venting of anger in sch,
coz no one will take my shit.
i might end up becoming a loner in sch,
who noes.
Only place and safe place to vent anger is at home.
it seems dat it is always e place where everyone will jus pour out everything.
Yes, this is wat i m doing,
trying my veri best not to do it everyday.
still trying to control the situation.
I get pissed off with every little single thing.
I will get veri frustrated easily.
I become veri short tempered.
I will jus raise my voice or my tone at em.
It seems dat mummy cannot take my nonsense animore.
Not entirely my fault,
but i dun blame em.
I only blame myself.
Everything is my fault.
If u gt anything u r unhappy with, jus blame it on me.
That's wat my existence is for.
Happy?
i hate the feeling.
Like wat i have mention in the previous entry,
my mood is very bad recently.
Due to sch stress?
Due to uncountable project?
i have simply no idea.
i thot is all becoz of my monthly thing,
but it doesnt seems to be e case.
No venting of anger in sch,
coz no one will take my shit.
i might end up becoming a loner in sch,
who noes.
Only place and safe place to vent anger is at home.
it seems dat it is always e place where everyone will jus pour out everything.
Yes, this is wat i m doing,
trying my veri best not to do it everyday.
still trying to control the situation.
I get pissed off with every little single thing.
I will get veri frustrated easily.
I become veri short tempered.
I will jus raise my voice or my tone at em.
It seems dat mummy cannot take my nonsense animore.
Not entirely my fault,
but i dun blame em.
I only blame myself.
Everything is my fault.
If u gt anything u r unhappy with, jus blame it on me.
That's wat my existence is for.
Happy?
No mood
Cramp is killing me.
Projects are killing me.
Everything is killing me.
My mood is controlling me.
I need to learn to control my mood.
Break is seriously needed!
Went for my sis's grad last fri.
Simple, but nice.The feeling is great becoz i know this is her dream and she have achieve it.
The journey is tough, i can see that.
But when she make it through, i feel like crying for her, becoz is like "Finally!"
I like e feeling of going thru something real tough but seeing the end result which is what u want.
However, i have lost this kind of feeling since Sec sch.
During sec sch, i have NPCC as a goal.
Many kinds of event to participate,
one most memorable event is campcraft com.
We spend freaking duno how mani wks to train under e hot scorching sun to pitch a tent.
Blister is what we get in e end for every training.
New blister growing on recovering blister cannot be prevented.
We didnt get into top 10,
but it is not important.
Coz i have gain friendship and endurance.
We have made it through, dat's enough..
Now.
What can i see as a goal?
Projects? Results? or wat?
Simply no goal now.
Sch in sch out! Dat's for me.
I dun feel like using the word "emo",
but i guess dat's wat i m feeling rite now!
Terrible,
must be my cramp!
My cramp affect my mood.
My mood is controlling me.
It is making me feeling EMO!
Signing off.
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